r/self Oct 27 '22

Self is now limiting submissions to two per account in a rolling 24 hour period.


Hello all,

There seems to be a higher than normal number of users taking advantage of our previous unlimited submission policy, and for the most part spamming the queue with multiple submissions every day. Some of these are utter nonsense and do not really add much to this community. As a result we are now limiting the total number of submissions per user to 2 submissions during a 24 hour period. This includes deleted posts, so you cannot circumvent the limit.

If you have any questions or concerns, please comment in this thread.

r/self 6h ago

I deleted me and my ex’s old text messages


Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but those conversations late at night were special to me. We remained friends and texted after she left, but she hasn’t texted me in 2 months. She doesn’t give a shit about me. The pictures are next.

r/self 1h ago

My friend was found dead in her apartment yesterday.


I messaged her on Facebook to invite her to a friend’s birthday party next week, and the woman who found her had her phone and messaged me. Sarah had been dead for a few days. Likely suicide, although no autopsy has been done yet.

My boyfriend and I helped her move into that apartment only a month ago.

My boyfriend is at a beer pong tournament with his brother, and I’m alone tonight. I got the message while we were waiting for our dinner to arrive at the restaurant, and I had him ask the waiter to bring my food in a takeout container. I drove home, and it snowed the whole way.

I was supposed to be there to help her unpack and organize her new place over the last month, but I was on stress leave and I was overwhelmed and didn’t reach out. I should have. I really should have. I was selfish, and I’ll always regret that.

I’m at home watching Tremors now. It’s one of my comfort movies.

She was brilliant, kind, compassionate, and genuine. She was always open and brave and real.

And now she’s gone.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m sorry, Sarah.

I’m glad you’re at peace now. Give Meela all the pets for me. She was a good dog, and I’m so glad you’re with her again.

Edit: Thank you to everyone reaching out. I don’t think I’m going to really reply anymore, but I’m reading every comment.

Sarah was a good person. She struggled with drug addiction, depression, anxiety, and had been raped and had gone through horrendous relationships. She was banned from a bar for punching her abusive ex in the face, and texted me a photo once of his stuff piled in a snow bank when she kicked him out. She was into kink, painting, and was a professor. She was extremely sex-positive, and one of the people I never felt judged with. One of the last times I saw her, I was driving her to pick up her playmate Dom at his parents’ place and dropped them off at hers so they could have fun. One of the funniest memories of my life.

Please check on your friends today.

Please love them.

It’s a hard world, and the hardest thing in this world is to live in it, and sometimes it gets too much. Sometimes it’s more than we can handle.

Sarah was loved. Sarah was kind. Sarah was good. And she’s gone now, and that’s not okay and I miss her and I want her back.

But she’s at peace. And that’s okay. She’s not hurting anymore. She’s with her dog Meela again, who she loved so very much. She’s not in a tiny apartment she can barely afford anymore. She’s not where her exes can hurt her.

She’s safe. She’s at peace. And I hope that’s enough. I’m not religious, but….

There’s somewhere out there, where she’s okay and she’s happy again.

There’s gotta be.

r/self 10h ago

I'm being way too careless about spending money


I come from a middle class family in India who's currently living in a hostel for my med school. My father sends me around Rs 3000 monthly for my expenses excluding hostel fees. Yesterday I checked my transactions on the Google pay app which I use on daily basis since its very convenient and easy to use. I realized that I'm getting way too careless about spending money to the point that I was left with only Rs 300 for ten days of March. From today onwards I'm going to try my best to save as much money as possible but I also want to ask if there is any way that will help me from making so many transactions on the app?

r/self 3h ago

I'm giving up


I'm done being in the closet. I am gay, and I have always been. I am sexually attracted to other men. I've been denying and terrified of it it for for 30 years. I can't hold it in anymore, I need a man to dominate me, love me, and and make me feel feminine. That's why I'm telling everyone I know as soon as possible.

r/self 3h ago

Had a date today with someone I’ve crushed on for years!


So today I went for coffee with this girl let’s call her D. I’ve been into D for the last 3 maybe 4 years. We have mutual friends, we’ve matched on dating apps but the last time we spoke she wasn’t in the right space to date. We recently all went out her, our friends and I. I thought there was chemistry still. We went out again because of something I organised. Again we were chatting. I asked her for coffee. We went today I think it went really well. I paid she said she would get the next one. We kissed in my car for like an hour. We walked around after that and chatted then we said goodbye and I kissed her again. Messaged her to tell her I got home and that we should hang out again!

I’m not sure if I’ll get a second date but I hope I do! I really like this girl but worst case I had fun :) I’m really feeling happy!

r/self 8h ago

My gf broke up with me yesterday


I feel so sad. It can’t be happening. Not after a year and a half. She adopted a cat which I loved, but it was her cat. I really miss this cat.

I love her. She said she loves me more as a brother and that she didn’t feel that we had chemistry like before… I feel devastated and I can’t function. I wish it would stop and that things would go back the way they were

I need emotional support right now…

Feel free to dm me

r/self 1d ago All-Seeing Upvote

I got high last night and ordered a slide whistle


Should be here Sunday, I’m pretty excited

r/self 5h ago

Just dumping a recount, feel free to ignore this.


Man. I'm kind of just laying awake at night and I don't really have anyone to talk to about this. It's 4:30am.

Tonight I went to a comedy show with one of my friends from fight class. It's kind of funny, I bought the tickets a week ago when I got an email saying something like "if you see seven comedy shows at our bar, you'll get a free jug of beer", anyway, I bought the tickets and wanted to go with a friend/date, but he/they literally broke their foot the next day.

So I asked another person I had been on a date with recently (but where it had turned into a friendship), if she wanted to go to this show. Well, literally a day later she started having seizures and is now at home doing a week long EEG from her bedroom (she's an opera singer who has a history of brain tumors and epilepsy).

I asked a friend from fight class if he wanted to go to this show. All seemed well until like 2 hours before the show he messages saying he's going to the hospital because something's up.

Welp, I put a message out on Reddit and one on Facebook, and literally last minute a good mate was like "hey I'm interested, let's go". Amazing.

Fast forward and while I was watching this comedian I had seen before, I couldn't help but feel like i didn't know where I was.

I sat along the wall during the performance tonight, and my friend sat to my right, I'd look at her and for a brief moment I had an outer body experience where I saw myself sitting next to my ex, I was teleported two years into the past. I blink and I'm back in the present day.

Who am I, why am I here, how did I get here? Were the last few years actually real or was it some dream? If it was a dream, why do I have a massive scar on my wrist, and a constant feeling of numbness in the thumb, middle, and ring finger of my left hand? why does my spine feel compressed? and why am I often short of breath? My body can't have really degraded this far so soon, it must be a dream right?

My friend talks to me during the show, and for the life of me I feel dumbfounded that I can't understand what she's saying. Something about a guy named Michael or something, but not me. I smile, nod and give a nice hum. She raises her hand and I give her a high five.

The show ends and I'm pretty tipsy. I go to the bathroom and see someone has written on the wall "u look hot ❤️", damn right I am.

Also, I think I saw someone in the corner of the room with a giant squish mellow or pillow or something, I swear to God it looked like they were hugging a giant baguette.

I drove my friend to the train station and then I head home. But on the way home I feel this immense, heavy sadness. I get a call from a mate in Brisbane, he's just finished wrestling a match. The match sounds like it was quite the ordeal.

I tell him about everything that had happened up until he called. As I'm telling him, I feel weird, it's like I've fallen into the back seat of my mind/eyes, I can see myself driving the car and talking, but it's not me doing it, if that makes sense?

After I finish recounting the night, he says: "My take. The secret to a fulfilling life is to do what makes you anxious. You're standing at the door to that fulfillment, nervous about what's on the other side, and I encourage you to open it."

Yeah. My life makes very little sense at the moment...

r/self 23h ago

I laid out in the sun for a while and my anxiety went away


As in, dissolved within the hour.

I've been having a pretty hard week of mental health; afraid to leave the house, lonely, poor coordination, horribly achy body, no concentration, existential dread, and self-loathing for getting nothing done.

This morning I ate breakfast and felt absolutely horrid. I decided to put a towel on the grass outside and lay with the dog for about 30 minutes while wasting time on the phone.

I feel normal again. I'm now sitting at the library and chunking through my work, replying to the texts I couldn't manage to touch this week, listening to ASMR for the good vibes, and feeling okay with life for now. Gonna head to the gym afterwards for some self-care jogging too. I've gotta do this more often.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

r/self 1h ago

How can I tell if I am friendzoned?


(M21) (F20) how do I know if she’s into me or not. It’s usually pretty obvious but she’s giving me super mixed symbols

There’s a friend group of girls that I met and have been hanging out with on the weekends. (I’m in college btw) of the 3 of them two of them snap me one of them quite often and the other a couple times a day. The girl that doesn’t will occasionally snap me when she’s drunk. The one that doesn’t snap me is the one I like. My frat had a wedding (dated party themed around 2 people getting married) and she was supposed to be my date but one of the other friends didn’t have a date and said she’s coming too. She was super drunk when she showed up and told me I look really good then grabbed my shoulders and stared at me. Her roommate was also there and said she’s heard a lot about me. This made me think she’s into me but her other actions make it seem like she’s not, so I’m really confused. I got a FaceTime from her at 2 am last night when she was at my frat but I was elsewhere. I texted her what’s up I just saw your ft the next morning but she never responded. I’ve never been so confused by someone. It feels like I’m friendzoned but she also thinks I’m attractive. Idk

r/self 3h ago

Heated seats make me nauseous


Never liked em. Always made buying the lowest tier model of a car easy haha.

I’m pretty resilient, never get sea sick or dizzy from most things. But heated seats just induce an immediate car sickness in me. It’s like a car sick button

Anyone else?? Most people seem to go wild for heated seats

r/self 3h ago

It’s all my fault


I (17m) had never had a relationship before. I felt unapproachable, then someone did finally. I was so happy. She seemed happy, but then she just left. She told me it wasn’t my fault, and that she had personal stuff going on.

I got too attached, that’s the real truth. I’m scared I’ll do it again if I find someone else. I was right there, and I fucked it up. Now she’s with some other guy. Fuck, I loved her so much. She never seemed to not want to be around me. I hate my life.

r/self 6m ago

Just got called a misogynist fatphobic for saying men require more calories to stay alive


Never thought we as a society would get to the point of reversing on what we've known for centuries from a scientific standpoint and go with feelings instead.

Damn I really dont know what to think, really thought it was universal common sense..

r/self 4h ago

I feel dumb for changing career paths and dropping out of college



I was working on a maritime engineer career going to school but decided to drop out halfway in to change career paths.

I actually liked the career itself, besides one thing: Having to be on a ship for half the year.

I knew I was fine with this before I did it, but I thought about it more and realized I don't want to live half a year on a ship anymore.

So I've been back to square one in job searching and got a USPS job.

Which is a decent job but it's not as appealing as merchant marine engineer and has worse pay.

But I can live comfortably on the USPS pay, and can be home every night.

Still feel like I feel dumb for doing that since everyone is making me feel like it.

I can definitely always go back though!

r/self 23m ago

Want to explain what a"technical virgin" is?


r/self 13h ago

I just want to say how much I love this sub


It's perfect

r/self 1h ago

Does anyone else feel pain while pressing their screen?


It’s bit hard to explain but sometimes for like 5 or 10 minutes whenever I tap anything or my screen, for example typing, it feels as though someone is stabbing my head. It’s not really like a headache as it’s only painful when I touch the screen. I just wondered if this happens to anyone else.

r/self 1h ago

How do I approach a girl


I'm a sophomore in an engineering institute. Every evening, I see a girl in my who is by herself. I've never seen her speak with anyone. She reminds me of myself in the sense that I also prefer to be in my own company. So, I want to approach her, but I'm afraid she'll give me the cold shoulder. I could just look for another girl, but it'd be too hard. She doesn't seem to have any friends, so maybe she'd be flattered if I approach her. But I never approached anyone in my life. I've gotten too comfortable being by myself. And now it's killing me inside as of late

r/self 7h ago

I need help unpacking some feelings


Here’s the story.

I have feelings for a co worker. I wish i didn’t because the logical side of me does not want to date within the workplace at all, but i have the feelings.

This person and I get along super well and i always find myself flirting with them. She seems to adore me as I can always make her laugh and she gravitates towards me, i don’t have to start interactions, she does. Every green light that says “hey i’m into you” is coming from her, the only problem is…

She is dating another person in the workplace and this started about a month ago, so it’s pretty new. I resent that person she is seeing. Even before I knew they were dating, I had zero respect for that person and underneath his supervisor position, i see a weak and insecure man. Now, i resent him even more. It just hurts.

I fully understand attraction is subjective, but i would like to share something that didn’t come from me. This came from my good friend who also knows about this and knows the girl pretty well. He says that this girl hasn’t fully unlocked her mental confidence yet, so when that guy gave her a little attention and said he liked her, she just jumped on(oh btw, before they started dating, she described that dude as “pervy and creepy”.)

So what Do i do with all this?

Part of me wants to take some distance. Back off, and limit all my interactions with her. Keep it dry and professional and maybe i’ll move on that way. Dating in the work place is bad, and isn’t a great idea

emotional side of me thinks i should keep talking to her

im very confused and conflicted right now.

r/self 1h ago

i feel like i have nothing going on for me and its curshing me


for the place i live in, i basically had access to the best "normal" education a typical family could get, the sport i picked up as a child happened to be a sport my country ranked among the first in the world in. heck one of my coaches was a world champion himself, others had trained world champions for years they were students of world champions themselves.

i am also aware that academically, my peers who had access to the same education went to top schools in the country and are thriving there, the outlier among them is currently in one of the top 50 in the world.. in my team, the ones who took the sport seriously are all world ranked by this point some, very high up.

and here i am, feeling like i couldn't utilize all i was given, i barely got the grade to join the major i wanted, no mention of the university i dreamt of (in my defense its so competitive its barely a couple of marks difference). i never even made it to the first team in my sport let alone compete nationally let alone internationally, I'm very likely the weakest teammate. i barely passed 1 class in uni last semester and failed another even after stopping sport to focus on studies.

i feel like im on the left side of every bell curve in every major skill in every circle, and its not through a lack of effort (sure there are things i would have done different and i had my fair share of distracted ruts, i was never 100% efficient but who ever was?, i did put my honest best 9 times out of 10 at whatever i attempted and still ended up on the wrong side of the curve) nothing really came to me naturally in any meaningful way. as happy as i am to see my closer friends excel, as resentful as i feel towards acquaintances and myself for that matter, i blame myself for every time i was inefficient and at the same time i wonder what more could i have really done. and would it have even mattered.

i had the odds in my favor and i still fell short every time, and there's no "no but im good at that other thing" because im not, i don't really think im comparing myself too much because im not zooming in on one or 2 people, im just comparing myself to the circle that wanted to reach the same goal i tried to, and got access to the similar resources, not just the good ones or the outliers. and as it turned out. i flopped in everything, i downright feel like a failure, i feel small compared to some of them whom i know for a fact didn't study much more than what i did.

the most recent development that i started catching myself partially wanting some of said acquaintances to flop so that i feel even with them once more and it makes me resent myself even more, all that is just snowballing over my head, i downright despise the kind of person im becoming, from the cynicism to the envy to my declining level. and i just need help

i just need to be able to sit in one room and not feel like im among the bottom five in it, i don't even care about being the topper the few times i was in that place it was more a fun, healthy competition than that.

now some of that might sound completely illogical, downright angry-ing because deep down i do know that to some extent it is, but that doesn't change the feeling, the sting of inferiority or resentment i do know i shouldn't be feeling this but its not a button i can press either. even if its the comparison part, its not something which i do deliberately

r/self 7h ago

After having such a promiscuously insane lifestyle I don’t know how to cope when looking back. Knowing that that’s not me anymore but I still have to live knowing I did all these things.


I was so young I’ve slept with around 7 people doesn’t sounds like a lot that’s not the problem though the problem is that they were all so much older than me I was only 14 when I lost it to like a 27 year old. I know I was taking advantage of and groomed even though I consented and wanted it.I just feel like I am undesirable now with guys my age or even looking In the mirror it’s just hard to cope I feel dirty asf even though I’m good looking I am just so embarrassed and ashamed which sucks because I am usually strong minded and have a high self esteem I feel rained though. like honestly fuck Grindr I don’t know what I was thinking I am manic asf though I think that has a lot to do with my erratic a$$ behavior. I’m 17 now gay male btw. Any advice or positive input?

r/self 1d ago

I made the stupid mistake of going on a “RateMe” site.


I went on the Photofeeler site. I don’t know what I was thinking! I always thought my face was borderline okay. I know these people are Internet Strangers, but damn…out of 80 people I wasn’t expecting it to be mostly “No” and some “Somewhat.”

I’m aware this is my own fault. I’m hoping to shake this off and not let it ruin my weekend.

r/self 5h ago

I can't study after being scold


I (15) cannot study after being scold or yelled at and it's something new. My mindset just says that I cannot pick up a book and I'm being scold over the smallest things, like cleaning my room, and it's honestly irritating.

I get scold so often and what I'm being scold for is not my priority until after I'm done with exams and it just makes it worse. During recent exams I've been scold a couple times and end up falling behind the schedule I plan and afterwards I just cannot study or retain anymore information.

The most recent things were my room being cleaned and being scold for a pen I never took, she left the pen in the kitchen after getting her coffee and I have my own pens. This honestly just irritates me how I get scold so badly for small things that I can't even study afterwards and have to finish studying big subjects, like history, just 2 hours before the test.

So, I wanna know, how can I get back to studying after being scold about something small or stupid?

Note : My mother is also studying but I don't see why she has to find reasons to disturb me and she isn't exactly the most patient and doesn't exactly listening to what I have to say. When i went to see my school psychologist she got upset when I told the psychologist I'm tired of being shouted at.

I'm really tired of this problem and really need help